This is a KRT catch-up post. The topic is ‘Kemeticism as a journey’ and you can find all the responses here.
The title couldn’t me more appropriate in my opinion, as some of you may already know that I always refer to my practice as ever evolving, a constant journey.
In all honesty I can’t pin point the exact time I’ve realized what to call my beliefs and that I was no longer the good christian I was raised to be. This is most likely due to the fact it didn’t happen in one exact moment.
At first there was the interest in everything having to do with ancient Egypt – this started at a very young age (about 8-9). I was always hungry for more, tracking down books, saving up to buy them and also using the local library to the point where the librarians would know my name, the times I’d usually be there and what I usually was looking for. By the time I was 13-14 I was already questioning much of the christia dogma and was being reprimanded for it. I kept going to church, if not so much for the teachings but for the sense of community and peace of mind it offered. At around 16-17 I had already started reading about the occult. My readings and research started painting a bigger picture.
I still remember the day I first prayed to an Egyptian deity. I lit a candle and offered a heartfelt prayer to Isis, asking her that if it is right for me that one day I should visit Egypt. After this, there was more going back and forth from christian teachings to occult studies – reading on heka felt like the right thing, the natural thing. I stopped going to church due to the tedious sermons on how those of different religions and those of non-straight sexual orientations are sinners and just plain wrong and we should show them the way to Christ. These things just didn’t sit right with me and a lot of the teachings seemed contradictory. Surely, I should love my neighbour no matter what?
During university, there wasn’t much going on spiritually. I was too absorbed in my studies. That is, until I obtained my scholarship for two semesters in Egypt (I only lasted for one semester, due to lack of finances mostly). It felt like being home. I was continuously awed and more curious than ever. I remembered my prayer. I thanked Her.
After university, my beliefs and practice started to take a more palpable shape. I was already experimenting with different magical techniques, not calling myself christian any more, but not calling myself kemetic either. To be honest I didn’t know what to call myself for a long time, at first I went through different labels until I decided that doesn’t really matter, as long as I let things flow naturally and continue to learn and grow. By then I wasn’t a beginner any more. I learned to use my discernment when it came to what sources I would use or what magical techniques to use.
I’ve made plenty of mistakes, of course. They came in useful, the lessons learned from them most likely couldn’t have been learned otherwise. Maybe we have to fall to learn how to pick ourselves back up.
The turning point in bringing all my experiences together and building a relationship with the gods was when Anubis appeared in my life, in a time when He was most needed. I won’t go into details, there’d be too many triggers for some readers. All I can say is that I was truly lost and He saved me. From then on I dedicated my practices to the Netjer, started worshipping Him and continued my magical work. Others popped in from time to time – Thoth and Isis most notably. Set came in and stayed.
I worship Anubis and Set individually and the Netjer as a whole. That’s most likely why some of Them choose to pop in from time to time, especially when They’re needed the most and I don’t even know it yet – like the most recent events with Sekhmet. She came, she helped, she got thanked and we moved on. She’s not here at the moment and probably won’t be for a long time, who knows? I’ve learned to have faith. And it looks like Thoth now wants a permanent place too. Which is more than fine because I have nothing but respect and admiration for Him and over the years He’s helped me and taught me valuable lessons.
My path is a winding road and my labour is one of love. I don’t know if I can describe my entire journey that has taken close to 15 years in the making in a blog post. This is more or less in a nutshell. A big nutshell. What’s more important is that it’s ever evolving. And yes, I some times still make mistakes. And that’s ok too. There are things I’m really good at, things I still improve upon, things that I’ll probably never be able to do and things I’d never touch with a ten foot pole.
As for advice, knowing that everyone is different and that the Gods have different ways with different devotees, all I can say is to have faith in yourself and use your discernment. Learn your strengths and weaknesses. Be open to possibilities but at the same time always exercise the appropriate caution. It’s ok to experiment with new things and it’s ok to say ‘No, not even looking into this.’ even if others seem to be getting on with it. You take care of you. We don’t all have one single perspective and one unified practice. Even in ancient Egypt there were different cult centres in different nomes. Why would modern practices be any different?